In Response to “Susy”
This issue is happening too frequently for me to continue ignoring it, or responding just in comments. Perhaps my regular readers will have guidance on how best to handle this — or even encouragement that I’m handling it properly already (checks and balances are always a good idea 
).
Some people think they have the right to attack whatever they please here on Independent Needlework News — and also that they can be as cruel as possible when doing so. They rarely use a valid email address when they do.
So far, I’ve always approved their comments.
“Susy’s” comment is the most recent example. I have no confidence “Susy” is her actual name, especially as it’s a misspelling of both “Susie,” and “Suzy,” and as her email address, stitchashash@yahoo.com, is both nonsensical and fake.
Of course, I never hear from these particular individuals at any other time (or, at least, not under the names they choose to use when criticizing me). Clearly, these are people who are happy only when they are tearing others down and being mean; they aren’t interested in promoting the stitching industry in any way by lifting others up, or by making anyone feel good by thanking them for what they do.
Perhaps I shouldn’t bother approving their comments at all — and there is certainly no requirement that I do so. What do you all think? Is a change warranted here? Should I email everyone back and not print comments from people who enter invalid email addresses? Should I do something else?
Sadly, since it would resolve the problem, these whiners (who may well be just one or two people writing in under a different fraudulent name and email address every time) never make good on their threats to stop reading INN. They’re either lying about how boring they find me, or they actually get substantial benefit out of my other articles.
In any case, I’m tired of the nastiness they think they can throw at me just because I own and write a site called Independent Needlework News. The fact is, I’m tired of all the nastiness within the needlework world, period, and I’ve already vented about this in my personal blog once — with some lovely results in terms of one person, by the way.
Writing INN takes a LOT of time — time which takes away from my stitching, and time which I put in out of the goodness of my heart. I kept encountering so many stitchers saying that with the advent of the Internet, they were doing more researching of their stitching hobby online than actual stitching, and as someone with the same experience, I wanted to do something to change that … which is how INN was eventually created.
Generally, INN has met and even far exceeded my expectations. Sharing my finds with other stitchers has been rewarding, and many of you stitchers are in return bringing things to me to share with others. Overall, this has meant I am getting more time to get back to my own stitching — after “dashing off” a quick informative article or a few articles for everyone else.
I know I’m verbose; that’s just my style. When a teacher in school said s/he wanted an eight to ten page paper, my worry was usually how to edit it down to ten pages, rather than how to get it to at least eight. I’m not going to apologize to those of you who find my writing too long or too boring because you know what? First of all, you can skim it. If that doesn’t work for you, then, if you hate it so much, you can go somewhere else for the information. Belittling me says far more about you than it does about me. You’ve either got to admit you’re getting something out of it, or that you are CHOOSING to waste your time, but you can’t blame me as the problem. I’m not going to let you make me feel small just because you’ve made the choice to read what I write. Grow up and take responsibility for your own actions. Either recognize the benefits you’re getting, or the fact that you can’t look away for whatever reason, but stop your complaining — or go away. I’ve had it with your nonsense, and I’ve got better things to do — like stitch, for starters.
As for “Susy’s” argument, I stand 100% by what I said in my article, Missing the Gift. When Kirsten Edwards has done all the incredibly hard work to turn The Gift of Stitching magazine and thegiftofstitching.com into a profitable business over a period of two years, snatching it out from under her the second it’s (temporarily) available is nothing other than STEALING. I firmly believe someday the laws will start catching up to the technology, but until then, I (along with a handful of other ethical individuals) will speak up for what I believe is right. Just because something is possible, or even because the current laws don’t specifically address it, does NOT make it proper or ethical to actually do, nor does it indicate that it should be legal.
There are a multitude of reasons why the renewal may have slipped by Kirsten. I can well imagine, as my life has been absolutely crazy over the past six months, and so I’ve experienced a multitude of possible reasons myself for missing such an important occurrence. (And, no, I haven’t received any reminders from my hosting service about renewals … I’ve only received the bills. Email is notorious for going missing, even with being able to check SPAM mailboxes, etc.) What if Kirsten changed hosting services sometime in the middle of the past two years (which I am currently considering doing myself because I am not entirely happy with my current hosting service)? What effect would that have on these supposed reminders “Susy” assumes Kirsten received and overlooked? Would a new service really remind her of deadlines created under the initial hosting service? I certainly don’t have the answers for these questions, which are all speculation to begin with — and my point is that I know “Susy,” who doesn’t have these answers any more than I do, is making a lot of completely unsupported assumptions which she is then using to judge Kirsten very unfairly.
Perhaps someday, “Susy” will learn her own hard lessons by going through a similar experience … and if that happens, she’ll be surprised to find, even though she’s been a complete nincompoop to me during this current situation, I’ll still support her right to a URL and corresponding business name if she purchased it and put months or even years of work into it.
That’s because my beliefs don’t change based on what is convenient to or for me — though I suspect “Susy’s” probably are malleable based on what’s convenient to or for her (that’s called hypocrisy, by the way).
More importantly, unlike “Susy,” I’m not going to pretend I’m perfect or could have done any better than Kirsten did, and especially not when Kirsten is already working her behind off putting out one of the most fantastic stitching magazines EVER to hit the market — and doing so EVERY SINGLE month, with every month’s issue only better than the last. I can understand very easily how Kirsten could have missed the reminder emails “Susy” says she must have received, what with everything else I know Kirsten has going on, and it doesn’t take much for me to accept that Kirsten has a lot more going on than I’m even aware of, too, so I’m entirely willing to be open-minded about the situation. And the point is that Kirsten put all the work into thegiftofstitching.com … and whoever it is that snatched it out from under her as soon as it was TEMPORARILY available is nothing more than a thief who is taking advantage of her in my book. (Oh, and INN? It’s MY book. )
I readily admit I am human and struggle as valiantly as I can daily to make some semblance of worth out of my life. I CHOOSE to make MY business here on INN not just one of showing sensitivity toward others in such a position, but also one of trying to lift up and promote this business and those in it who aspire tirelessly — and ETHICALLY — toward making wonderful products available to all of us stitchers.
A “business” which makes its living off of others’ misfortunes, or even off just their short term delays in being able to complete their obligations, is not one I consider honorable — and I’m not afraid to say so. I put a “business” like this in the same category as I do most lawyers, most doctors, political lobbyists, drug company representatives, and insurance companies. Just because something is “current business practice” or even currently legal does NOT mean it is ethical, proper, honorable, or moral — and this situation is most certainly one of those where what may be legal is NOT what is ethical.
I will not apologize for saying these things or be made to feel small by people like you, “Susy,” who make it your business in life to be cruel to others and to open your mouth up only to show you cannot think a situation through and thus to make a complete fool of yourself.
I’ll also never make any apology for repeating myself when it comes to trying to hammer home the point of why it’s important to be ethical and follow such laws as copyright laws. Simply by your comment, “Susy,” you prove that it is important for me to continue repeating myself on these issues.
Well, there you go, “Susy” … a whole post just for you. If you’d kept your mouth shut, maybe you wouldn’t be so bored right now. Don’t even bother replying, by the way … I’ve already decided that you, with your fake email, can go climb a tree.
Tags: , comments, copyright, ethics, Independent Needlework News, INN, Kirsten Edwards, morals, The Gift of Stitching, thegiftofstitching.com
February 28th, 2008 at 8:57 am
My two cents: there are always people who do that, it is just the price of being famous.
In my opinion you should accept their comments, so no one can say that you censor them, but don’t be bothered by them.
We all have opinions, and right to voice them out, but we also have the right to let them be and even ignore them. Best way to end the tomato throwing is to stop it before it begins.
When it comes to TGoS’ issue no one can say what exactly has or should have happened, no one but Kirsten, and, I believe what she says. Noticing how successfully TGoS has acquired subscribers (I can’t name one person who doesn’t order it) you can deduce that Kirsten does work hard and diligently.
Where Susy seems to go a bit lost is that there are several methods to handle the domains, in my case my host renews mine without extra cost or hassle as long as I keep my hosting with them (If you change the host I can recommend mine (huge server space and monthly bandwidth)). In some cases you have to handle it yourself… we can’t know what the situation is, and that is not our thing to judge anyway.
(By the way, when we had to write an essay at ninth grade, tops five pages… Mine was 30 pages plus five pages of sources and diagrams.
(I got A even I exceeded the limit…))
February 28th, 2008 at 10:50 pm
I’m going to quote a standard of usenet at you: Don’t feed the trolls.
In this case, I might have edited their post for the relavant portions and snipped the nastiness. Or just rejected it on the grounds of being a troll. You don’t have to put up with trolls. It’s your sandbox.
February 29th, 2008 at 10:27 am
I wanted to leave a few words of encouragement for you. I love your INN and have learned about so much going on in the stitching world. Plus, not being a blog site, I can check in from work (which I should be doing now)
I have joined some of the groups you recommend and learned much more than what is selectively printed in magazines. I appreciate you trying to be objective and report what you find out independently.
Keep your head up. I call people like “Susy” energy suckers! Their sole purpose is to drain the happiness and joy of others into their own black hole of an existence. Avoid them. Post their comments since it is a free society and with email vs in-person communication, it is open to interpretation or sometimes mis-interpretation.
I have enjoyed Kristen’s work since she used to publish the newsletter of free charts. This too shall pass and be resolved successfully. She has done an amazing job of opening my world to so many talented designers. I will keep sending prayers and positive thoughts to her!
Keep smiling, stitchers are a generally wonderful, generous and kind hearted lot!
Kerri (Katy, TX)
February 29th, 2008 at 1:04 pm
Already my link to TGOSM works by forwarding to the new one. It must have been a terrible, panicked time for Kristen to deal with the problem. Too bad YOU had to be the target of nastiness.
As a high school English teacher, I don’t know what I dread most - horribly brief essays that needed a lot of revising/addition to make them adequate, or the long, long ones that think that by saying a lot of nothing they could bs their way to a better grade. I’m assuming, however, that yours, of course, were excellently scripted, precise, and full of the great supporting details we harp on and on about!
February 29th, 2008 at 6:05 pm
i love inn and support you totally. as my dh says don’t let the —– get you down. keep up the good work,
March 1st, 2008 at 9:53 am
I don’t know…you might tell me to climb a tree as well, but hear me out before you do. I like your Needlework News. You are entitled to your opinion and choice of what you want in your blog. I have the option of moving on to the next blog if I choose…and I have… a number of times…but I come back to read the Needlework news. My heartburn lies with two things.
1-Your title says Needlework News…All the time.
It’s not really “all” needlework…but that’s your choice. I only suggest you focus on Needlework on INN and move the personal stuff back to your other blog. I am only speaking for myself because I’m here to read about the industry. Last I knew, Tom Brokaw wasn’t telling everyone about his arthritis between stories of Iraq and the econcomy when he was doing the news. Sorry if I offend. Perhaps a re-direct back to your personal blog so that those that care will go over there to read your more personal items.
2-You wrote….”they aren’t interested in promoting the stitching industry in any way by lifting others up, or by making anyone feel good by thanking them for what they do”.
I moved on in a previous entry of yours when you targeted Thistle Needleworks because I felt that how a shop conducts business is their individual choice and you focused on she “got ticked”…well with all it takes to keep a brick and mortar shop in business, I don’t think someone who self-professes to be the CNN of Needlework News is promoting the stitching industry with comments such as you made about Thistle Needleworks.
Blogs are just that…what the author chooses to write about and if a reader doesn’t like it…we move on…as I do. You have a great concept on focusing on the Needlework News, but like I learned in Broadcast-journalism classes…stick to the facts…be careful of editorializing and stay on track of the topic and I think you’ll find less resistance and more favorable comments.
March 5th, 2008 at 4:52 pm
Amen. I would send a response, and if it is a fake e-mail, I wouldn’t publish the comment. If a person isn’t willing to stand behind opinions they write publicly, I wouldn’t give them the public venue.
March 14th, 2008 at 2:34 am
As someone who has been around the business side of the Internet for 15 years or more, mostly from the marketing standpoint, I can assure you that there are companies much bigger than The G.O.S. and even INN who have “forgotten” to renew domains or had them swiped in a moment of neglect. As in multi-million dollar corporations with full time website management/creation staff. And yes, the work involved in bringing the site back, the domain back - it is outrageously expensive, time consuming and frustrating.
I am a happy subscriber to GOS - and I love reading INN. Kirsten does an outstanding job producing the magazine, and I have an inkling of the amount of work that must entail with realistically what would amount to relatively small financial rewards in compensation. She is, however, human. And things happen. Only those who live in iron clad houses should cast stones.
Regarding INN - thank you for the work you put into it. I enjoy reading it. I enjoy the extent of your prose - but then I am also one who panicked at the thought of having only 5 pages to fill with my essays in grade school. As for the comments - I would not ignore them. I might consider editing them if they get too verbose or mean-hearted. But it is somehow important for a site called “Independent” needlework news to provide “both sides of the story”. And yet, it is your site, your work, and therefore you should be able to retain some comment editing (at least shortening) abilities.
Keep up the great work. Please !